More Than This…

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It’s not just me that has been enduring the beginning of the season for Everton. Others, mainly strangers, have been involved in my melancholy. Before we continue, let me re-iterate: football is irrelevant. The past month, more than any other, has reminded me of this. The popular claim, often expressed by frustrated females, is just […]

The Sound Of Music

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It is rather apt that I should frequent the only football stadium to have a church attached to it, because going to the match, for me at least, is a cathartic, silent experience, a chance for self-reflection, for quiet contemplation, joining in the singing of a couple of well-known songs (or pretending to) and forever […]

There Will Come Soft Rains

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They trot up and down the sand, posing for endless photos, backs aching under the weight of many an obese sunburnt child. They long for pasture, for freedom, for quiet and not the bingo calls, the trams, the boozy lewd outbursts of those in the Kiss Me Quick, Squeeze Me Slowly hats on the promenade. […]

I saw it all

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Alfred Hitchcock often walked on screen to introduce his features with a hint of what to expect. All I will say in my short cameo is that the following season review contains no less than twenty five Hitchcock titles. I have recently been looking at the work of Francis Alys, who was described by the […]

Shameless

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When David Moyes re-iterated the importance of class and dignity following last week’s victory at Eastlands, it echoed similar comments he made to a Spanish waiter a couple of years ago, and pretty much underlined that a new bitter rivalry has emerged this season. Much has been written about this divide, with its biblical connotations […]

One Day, Goodbye will be Farewell

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This week, Everton beat Manchester United, got knocked out of Europe, and announced their season ticket prices for next season. And, the couple downstairs had another almighty, seemingly final row. Meanwhile, a man refused to shake another’s hand and we had a celebrity marriage split. Seeing similarities between football support and a relationship between strangers […]

B, C, N, U…

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Otherwise known as my obligatory season review, naturally featuring reference to reality TV ‘stars’, over-complicated narrative, and at times ridiculous bathos. Now that the somewhat anticlimactic summer internationals have passed, it feels somewhat appropriate to take an annual look back over past few months. I have decided to begin it by paraphrasing your favourite Slaughterhouse […]

Final countdown

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The first FA Cup Final I can remember is the 1986 one. The day I started supporting Everton. Sometimes, I question that decision – at the final whistle that day, for example. Years later I bought a VHS recording of the game but never watched it, instead ‘lending’ it to a class mate. Paul Harris, […]

Mexican Wave

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Given the news story that is currently on many people’s minds, especially when they blow their nose, look in their handkerchief and wonder, it is perhaps not a surprise that the following article should focus on a Central American country that is only known to many for its spicy food, long moustaches and earthquakes.   […]

Love will tear us apart

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– It’s not you, it’s me.   – Come on! That’s what they always say!   – I… I just need a break from you for a while. I need some space. It’s just something I’ve got to do.   – But… don’t I make you smile? Fill your heart with joy?   – Most of […]